Roxy's Ramblings

 So here I sit alone.  Tomorrow night this will be our bed, Marti's and mine.  She's staying in the large condo tonight while I'm in this bed in the two bedroom unit, waiting.  I can't sleep, no way.  At 2:00 am all my dreams come true.  I hope you will allow this 22-year-old novice my musings for tonight.  They may not make sense at all.  That's OK, in a way none of this makes sense.

Three months ago I was a loser; a plain girl with a boring life going nowhere.  My family abandoned me when I came out, fuck them.  I left my home town and came here a year ago, no friends to beckon me to this city.  I've made some acquaintances but had yet to find someone to relate to and to relate back to.  My job was better than minimum wage, but not much.  I had dropped out of college after one semester; not for me.  I went to technical school and got an associate's in cosmetology, but I was no artist like Daphne.  But I did know the products and what they could do so I went into sales.  I needed a big city for such a job so here I ended up.  It was OK.  I made enough to make ends meet and feed myself in my shitty little one bedroom apartment - at least I was free to be me.

I don't know, but maybe it's hard for you male readers to understand, but I am as much of a breast woman as any of you are a breast man.  My boobs are on the small side of a B cup.  The couple of female lovers I had were no bigger than a large B or small C.  God, a D cup would have been beyond my wildest dreams.  Sure, I had taken an interest in Daphne when she first entered the shop I worked for; a large C I guessed she was, dressed a little weird with more tattoos than I would have liked, but still attractive and nice tits.  I flirted, she responded.  We went out for coffee.  She saw me stare at her cleavage.  She said something like "If you think these are nice you should see my boss's.  They're the biggest ever."  Hell, yes, I wanted to see.  She took me to Marti.  I was in heaven.  Marti noticed and, for some reason I'll never understand, I was what Marti wanted.  Me, fucking me.  I mean, really.  The only women who had ever paid attention to me were ones as desperate as I.  And guys?  Never a second look which is why I abandoned them.  But me, small tits, poor complexion, bottom heavy.  I figured I'd find someone like me and hope for nothing more than contentment and peace.

I'm marrying a goddess.  I'm marrying someone better than my best dreams and fantasies.  In, what, 6 hours from now.  How can I sleep?  Marti is three years younger than my grandmother, but I don't give a fuck about that.  And I know some of you are not happy with me.  You've followed Marti for years and here this pipsqueak of a gal comes in and within a couple of months I get her.  Seems unfair, maybe?  I don't know what to say to you.  I suspect I must know what it feels like to buy a lottery ticket and win the big bucks.  I never expected this.  Don't blame me.

I'm sipping some red wine.  I need it to stay calm but don't want so much that I'm tipsy at 2:00 am or hung over.  I thought about watching some of Marti's porn videos or at least looking through some of the pictures I've taken of her and her tits, but, no, I'll wait for the real thing.  And can I handle it?

A couple of days ago we did Marti's official measurements which the ladies have been doing once a month to update her Agency web page.  In the last month her boobs grew less than they had in the previous nine months while she lost 4 pounds - grew less but still grew.  She apologized to me for so small a size increase - she apologized to me for that!  She said she wanted to be perfect for me, for our marriage.  She would be beyond perfect had she lost half of her boob size much less having a small increase.  Perfect for me!?  What the fuck have I done to deserve this?

I can't sleep, how could I?  I'll go from being a negative "thousandaire" to a positive millionaire tomorrow, but that hardly matters.  I just think about Marti, about, of course, her chest, about her gorgeous legs, about her amazing willingness to please.

This is not a celibate marriage; that was agreed at the moment she proposed to me.  And it goes two ways, though, what the fuck, I was a cock virgin before.  Week after next, when Marti is done with her next whoring adventure, we're going to share a cock together - my first.  I've never touched one before, much less had one inside me.  Fuck, I had never even seen one - except through porn vids, of course - until I watched Marti live as she did a porn vid with Rod and Big Eddie.  You know she keeps lots of cum in her sex refrigerator, right?  She's asked me to drink some with her but I want to take it straight from the cock for my first time.  I will admit, though - when she warms up some cum over her double boiler - I do like the smell.  So fucking sexy.  So, yeah, I can't wait to suck a cock with her and then feel it inside me.

Yeah, I know, I'm rambling.  Six more hours.  My life will change forever.  Sharing her seems so tiny a price to pay.  And she wants me to try some of the other ladies.  It's an idea I'll have to get used to.  It doesn't bother me that she does porn and does her whoring - I knew that going in.  I know she'll need some cock and cum.  I know that there is something between her and Michelle I'll never share - Maria knows that, too.  But I will be so much in love with what I do get; I just pray she'll be so in love with what I can give back.

Why me?  I don't care - it IS me.  And I couldn't be happier.